As the decade comes to an end, I keep seeing more and more articles are engagement ring trends for 2020, and I find myself cringing at the misguided information out there. When I was a sales associate at a brick and mortar antique jewelry store, I frequently had to educate customers on proper engagement ring qualities they often overlooked. Here are a few tips from a GIA Graduate Gemologist and antique bling slinger…

Not all gemstones are suitable for engagement rings!

I repeat this because it is the #1 thing people do not know when shopping for engagement rings. Every day I had to redirect customers from wanting a soft gemstone in their engagement ring because it will destroy the ring in only a few years.

Do you ever wonder why diamonds are the most popular gemstones for engagement? It’s because they are the hardest naturally occurring substance on Earth, and they can take the daily wear and tear from life. As a rule, try to stick to gemstones between 7 and 10 on the Mohs hardness scale.

GOOD STONES: diamonds, corundum (sapphire and ruby), topaz, alexandrite, chrysoberyl, spinel, aquamarine, morganite, and garnet.

BAD STONES: opal, pearl, quartz (amethyst, citrine, smoky quartz), moonstone, chrysoprase (agate, jasper, onyx, chrysoprase, carnelian), glass, hematite, amber, peridot, coral, mother-of-pearl, marcasite, and turquoise.

USE CAUTION STONES: tourmaline, spodumene (Kunzite and hiddenite), and emerald.

Use care with naturally heavily included gemstones like tourmaline (7-7.5) and emerald (7.5-8). One good whack and the stone can fracture along natural inclusions.

If you must have these stones in your engagement ring, ensure they have the proper protection in the mounting, like a bezel setting. Take off the ring while cleaning, gardening, rock climbing, or any other instance of using your hands in intense activity. Finding an exact replacement for tourmaline is often tricky.

Make sure your unique engagement ring can accompany a wedding band.

If you follow the traditional engagement route, you will probably want a wedding set, including the engagement ring and an accompanying band. I’ve seen this more and more with modern brides wanting such a uniquely shaped engagement ring, like a 1950’s cocktail ring, that they struggle with finding a matching band.

One option is to find a diamond band that is slightly curved to hug a wide engagement setting. These are hard to find, but any bench jeweler should be able to custom make a band fit around your ring.

Another option is that this is not the 1950’s! You can do what you want and wear your rings however you want. Take a page from the Twilight series and wear your engagement ring on your right hand and your wedding ring on your left.

Make sure your metals match!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a customer come in with a ring for repair because the metals did not match with their wedding set. If you buy a 14K gold engagement ring, you pair it with a 14K gold wedding band. The same goes for 10K, 18K, platinum, palladium, and rhodium.

If you buy a 10K gold Art Deco filigree ring and pair it with a platinum band, the band will destroy the filigree and ruin it.

Most people do not know that the lower the karat of gold, the harder the alloy is. Pure, or 24K, gold is very soft, which is why jewelers covet the metal, but you can dent pure gold very easily. I recommend 10K, 14K, or platinum for wedding sets since these tend to “age” well.

Keep the future in mind.

Ensure that your ring can be sized up or down in the future, as our hands tend to change over time. You don’t want to take in your ring only to be told it cannot be sized, and you will have to retire it. I’ve also heard of customers who cannot take their rings off anymore and eventually will have to get them cut off.

The takeaway is, don’t buy a super delicate or flimsy ring with a very thin shank or a band with detail the entire way around the ring. Some gemstone settings rely on pressure, and sizing the ring too much will make the stones pop out of the mounting.

Diamond inclusions are not a bad thing.

Modern diamond assessment is accomplished by using the world-recognized standard: The Four C’s. Using cut, clarity, carat, and color, one can appraise a diamond’s quality and assign a value.

When Americans buy diamonds, we tend to focus on carat size; bigger is always better in the US. If that is the case, you can compromise on the clarity or color to get a more affordable, larger diamond. 

Inclusions are naturally occurring internal characteristics of a diamond that form during creation. A trained gemologist can point out these clarity characteristics, which will help you identify your diamond. Whenever you take in your ring for cleaning or repair, make sure to look for that inclusion when you get the ring back to make sure your stone is still there. There are recent news stories about unscrupulous jewelers and stores switching gemstones on clients.

Keep these five tips in mind when you are shopping for your engagement ring, and they should help guide you to the perfect ring that will last a lifetime!

Below is an assortment of vintage and antique engagement rings available at The Gemmary.